Apocalypse Surrounds Them

The epoch is an ignited firefly [or a swarm]
I witness it as I am
          recessed

Sunken deep within my chasms
Absorbing the flames
Through their dilating precipices
Apocalypse surrounds them
          the chasms

This phase is a terrifying thing
And my mother is worried that
         I will shoot myself at 40

This phase is a sensual thing
          [sex and love fall woefully short]

And my friend [my brother] doesn't
          Understand why they [or we] travel such twilight muddy roads

Because you must

Speak what you know
Write what you know
I know nothing
          it is a terrifying thing

I feel nothing [or everything]
          it is a sensual thing

But I am only 22
          and I hope my mother is wrong

It should have been different
It should have been easy
I am not
         different nor easy

While I rake the walls of my chasms
And of forever-faceted layers of filtering smudgy blankets
And the rolling valleys of my cranium
          deeply recessed

For a "what you know"
Seeing nothing through my chasms
          widely dilated now

As apocalypse surrounds them